Traditions

SpecialK and I have tried over the years of our married life to come up with traditions that we feel are worthy ones. Traditions what will help our children in their futures, ones that will strengthen them and bring them closer to the Savior.

You would think that this would be a fairly easy task. We have found that isn't always the case. You see if we decide on a tradition that others don't agree with or decide to give up a tradition that others enjoy then we find ourselves under pressure and scrutiny. It's as if our decisions personally offend others. As if we are saying we are right and they are wrong. When really we are saying that it is simply right for us. What you and yours decide is right for you, is your own personal decision and honestly we respect that. We also desperately wish others would respect ours.

Have you ever noticed that if you do something 'different' then you come under fire? You don't drink coffee, you must think you are better than those that do. You decide to have a natural birth, you think you're better than those that don't have natural birth. Oh, you homeschool, you must think you are a better mother, and so on. I hope you get what I'm trying to explain. There is this sense of my choice means yours is wrong or I'm better mindset.

Parenting, for us has comes in stages, it develops over time. When we learn more we (try to) change and adapt. During a LDS General Conference I heard this talk on righteous traditions. It hit me, and made me start thinking about the traditions SpecialK and I were instilling in our children. Then I read this fantastic book titled What the Scriptures Teach Us about Raising a Child by S. Michael Wilcox. In it he talked about not knowing how our decisions will influence our posterity. That a small casualness about something for us could become catastrophic for our children. For example, our lack of strictness in keeping the Sabbath day holy could cause our children to become inactive all together.

Recently, SpecialK and I have made a few waves with our most recent decision when it comes to Christmas and Easter. You see it all started with a discussion SpecialK and I had about Santa Clause. It was Popsicle's second Christmas, he was 18 months old and actually starting to grasp what was going on. And I just couldn't bring myself to tell him that there was this man that was going to come down our nonexistent chimney and bring him presents galore. So, we didn't. Then the next Christmas we explained to him who Santa really was and that for our family Daddy was Santa. But that still did feel completely right. The next year we explained again who Santa was, the game parents play and our choice not to participate. We told him and his younger sister that Christmas was about Jesus' birth, He is the gift. We talked in length about the Nativity, St. Nick, Santa Clause, commercialization of Christmas and so on. Then we explained that we had prayed about it and decided we didn't want anything to overshadow the real reason for celebrating Christmas, Christ.

Well, this was all fine and dandy. We were happy with our decision and felt good about it, really good. We even explained to the kids that other kids don't know that Santa isn't real and it isn't our responsibility to tell them otherwise. If their parents want to play the Santa game then that's their choice. Of course that is easily said, but harder to do. I mean they were only 5 and 3 at the time. Then we came to what we will do this year. Three presents. Christ got three, they can have three. One from each set of grandparents and one from us. Which honestly I'm not sure I'm completely happy with. I personally would rather see our family serving food to the less forunate on Christmas than opening endless presents. To me that is the real spirit of Christmas, doing what the Savior would be doing. Maybe in a year or two when the kids are old enough, we'll do just that. We just don't see a need to overindulge our kids with made up characters and toys. They have birthdays for that. I mean really what better day to celebrate you than on your birthday.

Oh, we are going to have the kids give each other gifts. But not the kind of gifts most would think of. They can give each other gifts of service or kindness. For example Popsicle could make Sweet-tart's bed for her for a week. And as they get older they can dig even deeper.

For Easter we decided not to do egg hunts or make believe rabbits. Our hope was to do a modified Passover, but with the move and the new baby we didn't get the prep time to pull it off. Next year though, next year. This year we just came for the family dinners. Spent time with loved ones and reflected on our Savior's resurrection.

What traditions are you making, changing or letting go of??

Stupid in public

I really don't want to give any extra attention to topics or events that I don't think should get a lot of attention, but I am going to for this post. I don't follow Hollywood, but I couldn't avoid hearing about Lindsay Lohan. The fact that she is shooting a movie in Texas and therefore can't spend time in prison for her wrong doings, disgusting. It just makes me sick that we give special treatment, of any kind to famous people. In my opinion those who are famous should be held to a higher standard. If you want to be famous and have people want to be you then you should have to be someone decent. I'm not saying they need to be perfect, but come on! All the people who want to be like this star or that one and all the star does is party, do drugs, drink and drive. Instead of society giving them slack, we should punish them more. Isn't there some way we can charge them for negligently leading others down illegal paths?

I mean it just seems to me that instead of rewarding Lohan (or others like her) for being famous by letting them off easy so they can go make more money we should punish them more for being stupid in public!

Living close

It is an interesting part of life, when a child becomes an adult and then has children of their own. When two people leave their father and mother and cleave unto each other; when those two people start to grow together and become one. SpecialK and I have now been married for seven years. We have had the pleasure of living close to family as well as far away. I think our years living far away from family and anyone we knew made us stronger. It required us to lean on each other because each other was all we had. The times we lived thousands of miles away from our families allowed us to become our own people. We were influenced equally by our surroundings and each other. We talked a lot about what we wanted, how we wanted to parent and who we ultimately wanted to be. We haven't always done the best with sticking to our "plans" and often we've been thrown surprises. In the end though we are still us and we are still working toward who we want to be. I think what pushes us the hardest is our children. We want to raise them the best we can, which means we need to be the best we can. It's not easy, but we are trying.

We have found that living away from family has it's advantages and disadvantages. Living close ultimately outweighs living away, but we have found that living close requires more of us. We have to constantly remember our goals and make sure our decisions are not influenced by what our families might wish for us. When we lived far away we only had the influences of our families a few times a year for short periods of time. Now that we live close again we visit often. That changes things. Our family rules have to be fought for because they are challenged more. I guess you will always find disagreement when you put multiple families together. Not everyone is going to see things the way you do. It is always my prayer that no matter what our family decides to do verse someone else in our family that everyone can respect each others decision and no contention will arise. But I am quickly finding out which members of my family are peacemakers and which are not.

Dear Neglected Blog,

I am sorry you have been ignored. I promise I have some posts that I have been meaning to write. I just haven't gotten around to putting keys to posts. I do have plenty of excuses if you care to hear them. Excuses like, having a baby, moving, editing pictures, taking pictures, editing more pictures, breastfeeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding, homeschooling and breastfeeding.

An opinionated post is coming soon, promise :)